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Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Every time I think of you all I can hear is your laugh
That infectious wonderful sound that lifts my heart up to the heavens
Your smile is so wide and your brown eyes are almost completely hidden by the pleasure  of your amusement
The way you laugh is pleasurable giving me complete fulfillment
Your giggles make my soul smile in complete happiness
I love you more than the word, it alone cannot express the depths of my heart
There is no word known that could possibly reach deep enough into the soul to express what I feel for you
No one could possibly comprehend  
Deep in thought I look at you smile and tell a little joke and again you laugh, it warms my heart Infecting me with joy
I smile trying to think of more and more things to get the reaction I love
Making me feel full and empty at the same time
All I can say is I love you but of course it is much deeper than the word could ever go
You draw me in without saying a word
I can't help but snuggle next to you inhaling you
Touching you
Your warm scent
My cheeks rub roughly against your prickly french vanilla face
Your skin is so smooth and soft but your cheeks are so prickly making me all red and warm
How you warm my soul beyond the point of pleasure and then you just touch me and I'm in heaven

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Bar

She wanted it, every time she looked at him she wanted to feel the weight of his body on top of hers, pushing pleasure inside her. She imagined what it would feel like, what it would look like when he pulled it out. She bit her lip, crossed her legs and squeezed them together, trying to calm the hunger.

The martini she was drinking was half full and she already craved another one. Quickly downing the dirty Ketel One martini, she heads for the bartender, trying to calm the desire that was building inside her, making eye contact and holding up her glass he quickly makes her another one. Waiting for her liquid relaxer she turns and sees him coming her way, though it's dark she examines his walk that radiates nothing but confidence. He steals a look at her as he walks to the bar, and gives the hint of a smile. Sliding in next to her, he has to wave to get the bartenders attention. Smiling to herself she turns around letting her ass graze the side of his leg. He turns his head towards her and she gives him the sexiest look she could come up with and heads toward the back of the bar, where it's a little quieter.

He gets that look in his eye, like a lion on the hunt for a lioness, the hunger he feels deep in his gut pushes him over the edge, forcing one leg in front of the other, logically he knows this is a bad idea, his girlfriend is at the bar next door, but he can't control himself; he chases after her. Losing sight of her his eyes darts around frantically looking for her. He takes another step and gets an intoxicating nose full of her sweet, almost edible perfume. 

He follows the scent toward the back where the music starts to fade and the the lights get dimmer.
She can see him getting closer, leaning against the wall she waits for him to find her, she takes a sip of her martini almost finishing it. Finally he looks her way, he strides toward her, examining her body taking in every curve, from her hips to her full round breasts. She could see the desire in his eyes, she sifts her body to extenuate every curve, making him crave her more. As he gets closer and closer another man approaches her and tries to command her full attention, to no avail.

Finally he stands right in front of her, not even looking at the other man trying talk to her, he holds out his hand looks deep into her eyes and waits for her to accept him. She looks at him for several seconds, then hands her martini glass to the man standing next to her. Surprisingly, he takes it from her and she turns back toward the sexy man standing in front of her and she takes his hand. He pulls her back towards the dance floor and seizes her hips holding her close to him. The music sways them back and forth in unison, the Spanish guitar brings them closer, their bodies pressing up against each other.

He lowers his head toward her neck becoming drunk from her sweet and sexy scent. Her face and neck can feel the warmth of his breath, she slowly presses her face against his cheek and whispers in his ears " I want you". He squeezes her tighter then pulls her off the dance floor to the back of the bar to the right of where he found her. There was no one occupying this corner. As they walked he held her close to his body and she could feel the bulge on her ass developing through his pants. She smiled to herself and couldn't wait for what was coming next; he turned her around and pushed her against the wall and started grinding against her body. Slightly lifting her up against the wall and opening her legs he pressed up against her, she could feel every sensation, making her moan in his ear, after hearing her enjoyment he just couldn't stop.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a condom, and she whispered thank goodness to herself because she sure didn't want to stop right now. He quickly put it on and into her body, stretching her walls as he moved inside her, she held on to him holding herself up, he fumbled with her v-neck shirt and exposed her nipples, grazing them with his fingertips, and squeezing them. After she let out another moan she opened her eyes and glanced to the left a couple people watching with their mouths agape and others biting their lips wishing they could join in. This just made the sensation even better, he grabbed her thighs and thrust her harder and harder and she gyrated on his pelvic bone to heighten her pleasure, bringing her closer and closer to the edge of the cliff. He was holding himself back waiting for her to meet him at the top. Her breath is becoming more and more heavy, her moans are deeper and more frequent. When he realizes she is there, he squeezes her even tighter and pounding her deep and fast, together they reach the top of the mountain and sailed over the cliff of pleasure and slowly glided back down to earth.

After he put her down, and gently putting her breast back where they belonged he realized that he couldn't just let her go. He wanted to see her again, find out who she is as a person. She rejected his offer to take her to her car and she wouldn't take his number, so he gave her a hug and slipped his card in her pocket without her knowing, hoping she would reconsider and call. As he turns to walk away he becomes face to face with his girlfriend who smacks him and screams it's over. As she turns to run out the door he doesn't even bother chasing after her, she wasn't who he wanted to be with, and he was trying to think of a way to break up with her. He was just glad the breakup was so pleasurable, well for him anyway. He turned back around to  talk to the woman he was just with and she was gone.

She skipped to her car laughing, feeling so free and and happy, she felt like she was cloud nine and never wanted to come down. She couldn't believe that the first time doing this and she didn't feel nervous in the slightest bit. As she fished through her pockets looking for her keys, she pulls out a card, Justin Powell CEO of Learner Communication Systems. She slightly smiled and thought that maybe she would call him after all, she'll think about it, she always wanted to be in control, and he had made it easy to get what she wanted.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

This "Holiday"

I kept it deep down inside
Where I thought it would be lost even to me
I never wanted to see it again and when it came up through the year I ignored it
Pushing it back down to where it was invisible

The day then comes around and the whole world reminds me of it
They are all celebrating the happiness of it while I wallow in pain
I first feel it in the back of my throat
It gets dry and scratchy with small tinges of soreness

I then start to think of things that are and that were
And the things that cannot be and the one that was stolen from me
Closing my eyes I try to push back hard on the memories
Then the ache comes its like no other
Starting from my neck and shooting straight down to my heart
My hands quickly grab my chest as I gasp for air squeezing my eyes shut trying to make it all stop
It doesn't it just gets worse
I have to sit down covering my face ashamed
I'm ashamed by the display of pain that comes rushing to my face

My skin becomes all blotchy red leaving me looking pale and sick
The ducts in my eyes can no longer take the access moisture and it clogs
Letting the excess flow to my face and down my nose
Desperately trying to control it I sniffle constantly
Trying to sniffle and inhale back the pain

Seeing the desperation I am displaying my cat runs to my side in order to comfort my soul
And finally it subsides my throat relaxes and the burning sensation subsides
My heart lets up on the pain
I start to push back on the memories putting them back deep inside
Where no one can see
No one will know the pain because no one will see
Wiping my face cleaning my nose
I'm almost back to normal almost back home

I lay down on the bed close my eyes and just breathe letting it all go
The pain
The disappointment
The anger
I let it go with the air I breathe out

I sit back up and the pain has gone
Back down to its deep dark corner of my heart
Until next time

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Alone in the darkness

I have seen your light
I have seen your darkness
I remember when the light was overwhelmed by darkness
I lost you 
You couldn't see the star I was holding 
I knew it would show you the way
Your back was turned towards me 
I tried to reach around to help you 
You were already to far far away

I turned around and saw the stairs shining in the darkness 
Giving me an escape 
showing me the way out
I turned around to tell you but you were to far gone
Running blindly the other way
Into your own darkness 
Away from my light

Alone I climbed one by one 
They were cold aching my ankles 
Slippery trying to bring back down into the abyss
One by one I climbed
Never looking back 

I could finally see it 
The faint dot of salvation 
The small shiny dot of hope 
I climbed faster
To fast
I scraped my knee
I had blood on my hands
I looked back to see if there was help
No one
I'm alone in the darkness

Giving up 
No not an option not a choice
At the bottom the light was gone
But there was still hope
If I kept going I would reach the light 
Even from here
It's so dark I know the light is there
The star shines dimly 
Encouraging me 
I feel the strength I know I can go on 
I pick it up and climb towards hope 
I climb up towards my dreams 

Being alone in the darkness 
There is always hope
The light at the top or end of the tunnel