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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

depressed

writing a poem on depression seems to go against the grain
poems are flowing loving beautiful
depression is just the opposite, painful and bountiful
the dark tear filled clouds hover overhead making my shoulders feel heavy
my body buckles under the pressure, sending me deep into the dark sleepiness of pain
the more i sleep the more my dreams send me back to reality
there is no escape no shelter
follow the light be the light spread the light
but there is no light no reprieve from the pain no one rescuing me
back at home these four walls oppress me caving in on me blocking out the light
then the tears flow the anger builds the frustration hits breathing its hot breath over me
its nails cutting me leaving deep wounds that turn black and blue infecting the rest of my soul poisoning it
desperate to trap me steal my energy kill my spirit
as my energy leaks from my soul it turns from bright blue to black as quickly as rainfall turns into snow coating the earth with its thick hovering film anyone walking by gets it on them coating them and pulling them down like quick sand into the depths of sad darkness
they have a life line it pulls them up and shows them where the light is guides them encourages them
ultimately freeing them for my darkness that I hold
but where is my freedom my life line when will it bring me back to the light

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

something beautiful

As the sun sets and the earth cools
The sweet essence of your love cools my body
As you caress and taste my sweet skin
The hairs rise without haste
The magnet between you and me will never die
So please don't even try
Only everyday it will grow stronger
As we look in each others eyes
And inhale our breath even longer
We fall deeper and deeper under the spell of love
I float up up into the heavens like a dove
Two doves together forever in high ecstasy
As snowflakes fall upon the earth
We float back down from the heavens
What we feel
What we've created is truly
Something Beautiful

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Elevation

As a black woman I must be different from the rest
I must not let them see me when I fall, for that is what they expect
As a black woman I must succeed they already think I will fail
As a black woman I am looked down upon because I am educated
As a black woman I carry every stereotype heavily upon my shoulders, and yes as I try to change these I cry when the weight becomes to much.

As a black woman men will try to use and abuse me they think that I am so weak I will not protect myself
As a black woman no matter how kind I am they will still manifest their jealousy
As a black woman the black community will look down upon me because I am not dating a black man
As a black woman I will not let this get me down I will elevate above the pettiness of the racial world, I will still treat people with respect even if their jealously prevents them to reciprocate.
Even though like everyone else I have an evil side I will do all that I can to keep in check. I will not allow this to rule me, I will elevate above this.
As a black woman I am loved and I will love. I will not be taken advantage of.

As a black woman I will succeed, even in the face of defeat.

It is my path to change the world, and I am headed in the right direction.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

shantescia — WordPress

“Children should be banned from this place”, Adrianna said as she squeezed past the three year old, with an  armful of dirty dishes, who was climbing in and out of his high chair, right in the middle of the walk way.
“Tell me about it, I can’t believe the parents are just sitting there while their child is clearly in the way, whatever happened to parents actually taking an interest in their children”? Sighed Sarah as she squeezed past the same child behind Adrianna.
As Sarah walks out of the kitchen, she can see a table waving at her frantically, since this is not her table, so she tries to ignore them. She then realizes that her table needs something also, and they are sitting right next to the table that is hysterical and trying to obtain her attention. So reluctantly she walks up to the table to see what they want.
“So do they have to go to the farm and kill the cow for my NY strip?” The man asked, with a smirk on his face that showed he was proud of the joke, he thinks he thought up on his own. “I’ve been waiting here for at least 20 minutes for my steak, what’s taking so long?”
“Actually, here we don’t cook, we just wait for it to fall out of the sky, you know like that movie ‘cloudy with a chance of meatballs,’” Sarah joked with an irresistible giggle.
“I want it well done, burnt if you have to, I don’t want to see any red at all!” he said holding back a laugh.
As she walks away, Arianna is coming to the table with all their food. Thank God she thinks and rolls her eyes, and walks to her table, who politely asks her for lemons for their salmon. She hurries back and grabs the lemons and rushes them out to her table. As she walks back by the other table that flagged down before, the man grabs her arm firmly, too firmly, and pulls her into the table. She looks at the other guest for their reaction, but they are all just staring at her like she did something wrong.
“This steak is disgusting!” the man yells at her, “there is no flavor whatsoever in this steak, are you stupid or something, serving garbage like this to people?”
Adrianna sees what is going and runs over to the table.
“Sir, let go of her arm please, I’m your server not her, what is the problem?” Adrianna asks firmly.
He reaches out to then grab her arm and she instinctively snatches away and says “please do not touch me, just tell me what the problem is.”
“This steak is disgusting, I don’t like it.”
“You ordered it well done; I’m confused on what it is you want.”
When the man has couldn’t think of a valid response, she walks away.
As Sarah walks away she can feel the tears well up and she runs in the kitchen, as everyone asks, she tells them what happened.
As soon as she finishes Adrianna walks in, and comforts Sarah and tells her not to let that lunatic get to her.
The manager then goes to the table asks them to pay and leave without ever returning.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

loss of a child

Oh what a battle to get you away from Seattle
He holds you closely and looks at me coldly
If he would just let me near to my dear
So consumed in hatred which makes him feel naked so he holds her down with his thumb
Hoping and praying she remains dumb
Breathe and let it be spring
Bring her back to her mum
His thievery this evening has left us all wheezing and crying to the heavens above
So the angels came flying so I would stop dying
And promised better times ahead
I cannot see it so you should just beat it
I already feel like I’m dead
As I felt hurt they felt burnt and left me for dead
I can’t reach my goal with this whole in my soul
Instead of turning to you for guidance I continue to walk in silence
Letting the burden of pain slowly make me insane
No longer able to see what he has done to me
You again hold out your hand
Unable to stand I take your hand and you pull me to my feet
Giving me spiritual food to eat
For my starvation has abound
Without making a sound
You tell me forgiveness is the key
To set yourself free forgiveness is what you need come take it from my hand
As I take it from his hand on my feet I shall land
I realize I can now breathe
I have been set free from the pain that made me so insane
I pray that you will do the same