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Saturday, August 1, 2015

The light that ends the night

There is a certain stillness at this time of night. The darkness that ends with the light.
The beauty of the light slowly and ever so gently conquering the night.
Each moment is a blessing
a blessing in the night
a blessing of the light


It is heavy
The night
In the light of the dawn we shall bask
But not yet
Not yet
The night is not dark enough to bring in the light

Be divine

No one can disturb something that you are. If you are peace, no one can take your peace. If you are a love, no one can steal your love, no one can abuse your love. If you are the light, no one can take your light. The moment you stop being who you truly are, is the same moment you give up who you are. No one can take Divinity from the Divine. Be who you are. Be Divine.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Expectations

Come over
Come over come over
Let us take a break from our businesses
From the distractions of worldly gains
Let us instead create love
Let us create beauty
Come close to me
Let's create something truly magnificent
Come
Come close to me
Closer
Let my the beauty of my loving energy surround and move through you
May we both be lifted into higher vibrations
So that we may float through our days
Our weeks
Our months
Come close to me
Breathe into me
Breathe into love
Breathe into love
Breathe into beauty
Beauty is you
Beauty is me
You are love
As I am love
Together we create the beauty of love

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Young and Beautiful

Under the stars
Under the moon

We lay in the hammock and swoon
Counting each one till our arms are tired
The trees sway side to side
Swaying us in desire
The midnight jasmine is in full bloom

The wind kisses us slowly
So we snuggle closer
Breathing in love Becoming lighter

Becoming Closer Becoming One


Away and Naked

Searching
Searching in the dark
For the mark of my soul

The dark
Is
Consuming

I can hear my heart booming as I grasp the ledge
I stood to close
To close to the edge
Breathing in the air
The wind swirls lifting me
The rocks
The dirt crumbles beneath me

Contaminating Consuming
Burning
Eyes lips face
Scraping away pulling down
Naked
In the face of the unknown
Naked
In the face of the inevitable

Grasping Grabbing
Panic

Floating Breathing Falling

Heaviness disappearing gravity consuming
Feathers only Feathers
No consciousness
Pure consciousness
Pure connection

Surrounded
Consumed by the righteousness of  the cold
The chill
The wet the cold
Refreshing

No longer falling
Height of consciousness
Letting go

Coming up for air
No
No escaping
Smothering Smothering elements
Encompassing consuming
Darkness

On more breath
Then
Lightness
The Light
Beauty
The Beauty of letting go

Freedom

Freedom from fear

Freedom




Saturday, September 13, 2014

Pretend

I can't pretend.
I cannot pretend that I don't want to call you and text everyday
I can't pretend that I don't want to chase you from mountain to mountain trying to grasp your love.
It is deep and I want to feel it in my soul
I want every part of you
I want the beauty of it
I want the light
I want the dark
I want it all
I want to be all that you desire
All you could ever wish for
I want to be the angel from your dreams
And the devil
I want to inhale you
Breathe your into my soul
I want to free you from all your inhibitions
I want to free you
Free you to love unconditionally
As I will accept you for who you are
Come to me
Ride the wave of my love
Come to me

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Pulled Over a Second Time

"Don't you just love this car, babe," Martin, Julianne's boyfriend, says and glances at her, hoping she shares the same enthusiasm.
When she rolls her eyes and stares out the window, he realizes he will have no such luck.

"Babe come on, its a beautiful car," he says squeezing her leg.
"Yes babe, its a beautiful car, I wish you would get so excited about driving me," she says.  
He turns on the radio, and turns up NPR. "Babe, come on can't we listen to some music, I mean seriously," she says.
"No I need to hear what's going on in the world," he shoots back at her.
Julianne slouches in her seat and stares out the window. Two cop cars pass the car with their lights on, and she thinks about the last time she was pulled over by Officer Randy. It's been three months without a single word from him. Biting her lip she thinks about the forest, and the tree he propped her up on, she had deep scratches on her back that lasted for weeks after that day.
For weeks she would constantly check her phone, hoping he would text her for another round, but everyday she was disappointed. After about a month she met Martin, but she would still think of him from time to time.
"Babe, do you have to use the restroom, there's a rest stop in a mile," Martin says interrupting her thoughts.
"Um, no but I don't think there's another one for a couple of miles, so I'll go ahead and go."
"Ok, try not to take a long time, we have a schedule to keep."
"Ok."
Martin pulls into the rest stop and parks.
"Are you getting out?" she asks
"No, just hurry up."
She slams the door of the car and runs inside. As she walks to the bathroom she turns to see a police vehicle pull up next to her boyfriends car. A chill races down her spine, she spins and bounces to the restroom. As she pulls her short blue dress up she starts fantasizing about all the scenarios that could happen, even with Martin there.
"Oh my god, what if he finds out, I wonder if the cop will flirt with me in front of him," she thinks and then shrieks with excitement. "I'm so crazy, I don't even know if it's him or not."
Martin nods respectfully as the cop gets out of the car and looks at him suspiciously, then looks towards the building.  He slowly walks inside and towards the restroom, but doesn't go in. He stands there for several minutes then walks back to his car and speeds off.

Julianne finishes in the restroom and begins to make her way back to the car. She walks out of the restroom and a strong cologne smacks her in the face, she deeply inhales and lets out a intoxicated moan. She jumps in the car and looks at Martin.
"Did you go to the restroom?"
"No I -
"What cologne are you wearing?" she says leaning in to sniff him.
"I'm not wearing any."
"Oh, did someone walk into the restroom?"
"Yeah some cop but I don't think he went all the way in he just stood at the door and then ran back to his car and sped off."
"Oh."
"Why."
She just shrugs. She looks out the window with a smiley smirk on her face. As they drive down the highway she looks for the cop as nonchalantly as possible. After about 5 miles she gives up, rolling her eyes in disappointment.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing, I think I'm just really tired."
"Well take a nap."
"Hmm."
She closes her eyes and tries to relax. She can feel a hand on her leg, slowly moving up her thigh, her clit starts to pulsate, she squeezes her legs together as she feels the moisture grow between her legs.  She opens her eyes thinking Martin is touching her, but he is bobbing his head to NPR's classical music and staring intently at the road. Realizing that it was just her imagination she grabs Martin's hand and places it high on her thigh.
"Babe, seriously, I can't drive and play with your pussy just wait till we get to the hotel."
"But I'm horny, why don't you just pull over and give me some on the side of the road?"
"Are you crazy? People will see us!"
"There are trees," she says smiling and closing her eyes.
"No, only trash has sex on the side of the road, and we're class, not trash honey."
Shocked she just looks straight ahead at the road.
He looks at her, "I know you're a little wild, but I'll tame you baby," he says squeezing her leg.

She continues looking out the window. A moment later he looks in the mirror and sees blue and red flashing lights.
"Great, what the hell did I do? I was going the speed limit."
He slows down and pulls over to the side of the road. After several minutes the cop slowly gets out of his car and walks to the driver side of the Mercedes.

"License and registration, please."
"May I ask what you pulled me over for? I was doing the speed limit."
"All I need from you right now is your license and registration."

Martin slowly hands over the paperwork, and the officer takes it and walks back to his car. Julianne watches as the officer studies the paperwork while making his way back to the police car. Not recognizing him she turns back around and slouches in her seat.

"What's wrong with you?" Martin asks.
"What? Nothing, I just thought I recognized him, that's all."
"Well, don't make a scene I don't want a ticket."
"Yeah, ok."

Martin watches as the officer talks into the radio in the front seat. He fidgets nervously wondering what could be the problem.

"Ok, so you tell me not to look at the officer, but you're giving him the stare down in the mirror, seriously?"
"Well he keeps talking in the radio, and I want to know what for."
"Why do you care so much? Did you murder someone recently, are you really on the run," Julianne says laughing.
"Very funny."

Finally, the officer gets out of his car and walks back to the driver side of the Mercedes. Martin rolls the window back down and the officer bends over and looks at Julianne.

"Ma'am, I need to see some identification."
"Excuse me, what for," Julianne says.
"Miss, step out of the car."
"I will not! I know my rights," she screams at him.

The officer walks quickly to her side of the car opens the door and removes Julianne from the car.

"Julianne, you are under arrest, I must take you to the station for some questioning."

Martin darts over to where the officer is handcuffing Julianne.

"What is she under arrest for? You can't just go around arresting people for no reason!"
"Sir, calm down, or I will calm you down. Take a step back. You can meet her at the station."

The officer then roughly escorts Julianne to his car and puts her in the back seat. He then walks to the driver side gets in and speeds off. Martin then jumps in his car and follows the cop car several miles. Noticing this, the officer calls another car to pull him over.

"Seriously, your not even going to let him follow? What the hell is really going and what is your name?"
"Where, your going darling, your not going to want him to follow you. I'm Officer Henry, I'm a friend of Randy. You do remember him right."
"Wait, your a friend of officer Randy? Ok, now everything is making sense. Are we going to see him?"
"Just relax and enjoy the ride."
"Well I did the first time," she mumbles smiling.

After about an hour of driving, Henry finally pulls up to a two story cookie cutter house. Very well maintained home thats looks as if no normal family with kids could possibly live there. The front door opens and out comes Officer Randy. Julianne's heart skips a beat at the sight of him. He strolled over to her side of the car and opened the door, gently taking her hand and pulling her out of the car. They stand face to face and just stare at each other for several moments. Randy leans down and kisses her on the forehead.

"So, I'll be going then," says Henry.

But neither hear him, they are completely lost in each others eyes. He again takes her hand and escorts her inside.

"Please, have a seat, make yourself comfortable", he says in his deep husky voice.

Julianne slowly walks over to the large couch that faces the kitchen, where Randy is.

"What is that wonderful smell?"
"I cooked for you."
"Really? That's sweet of you. But how did you know I was going to be here today."
"I know more than you'll ever know. I can see you whenever I want, Julianne. I'm a little disappointed though that you didn't wait for me."
"How long did you expect me to wait, I mean I have no way of contacting you. I thought you forgot about me."
"I know what it is you need, I know how to give you what you want. Everything you could ever wish for is here, I just bought this house and got some other things in order, so that we could be together."
"How do you know I'll accept? What if I think all of this is crazy?"
He looks at her and holds her face in his hands. "Well, do you think all of this is crazy?"
"Yes, of course all this crazy."
Julianne can see the panic creeping up in his eyes, as he pulls away.
"But I like crazy," she says and kisses him passionately, biting his lips.

He picks her up off the couch and carries her upstairs, lays her on the bed and slowly kisses her body inch by inch while removing her clothes. She takes every kiss into her soul, which makes her feel as if they are floating around in the clouds. She removes his shirt then unbuttons his pants, setting him free. He climbs on top of her and they both moan at the pleasure of their bodies touching and connecting.

"I'm yours and your mine," Randy whispers in her ear.
"Yes, I'm yours."









Monday, August 11, 2014

This one is for you

My heart pounds
Everytime I see you
My heart pounds against my chest
It threatens my rib cage

My heart swells
Everytime I touch you
My heart swells
The painful pleasure

Releasing

Bleeding light and love
The Beauty of it the feeling of it
The purity of it

The connection
Our connection
The energy
Our energy
My energy moves freely
Engulfing you surrounding you
Pulling us closer

Abandoning all forms of resistance
Abandoning all forms of reason
The only thing left is the feeling
The feeling of me loving you

Craving yearning wanting
More of the forbidden
Abandoning all doubt

My heart opens
Letting you in
Only wanting to give love
Only wanting to lift you up

Breaking

Breaking when we part
My heart
Bursting
Shattering all over the earth

Piece by piece
Missing you

Come here
Come up here with your Queen
Your Goddess
Where all things are sweet like honey
Where all things feel like heaven
Where every part of you is accepted

Come

Take the love
Accept the love
Breathe it into your soul

Abandon the darkness
There is no judgement here
Pursue the light
It is here for you
Waiting for you

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Addicted

You invaded my mind
I couldn't concentrate
Work is impossible

I just wanted to hear your voice caress the melody of my name
See your face next to mine
your cheeks against my cheeks

I want to inhale you as my body tingles with anticipation
My hands yearn to touch your soft smooth skin

Yearning even more for your arm to wrap around my waist pulling me in close to you
tightly wedged against your firm body holding me
As my face snuggles against your neck all I can think to do is kiss it
Kiss every available inch
Tasting you gently with my tongue then nibbling on your ear lobes

Momentarily I close my eyes and hold that image in my head
The desire is so strong I can almost taste you
Though you are far away my minds pulls you close to me

 I open my eyes to look around 
The lust that I carry 
Even without you there
It lives deep within me taking over mind, body and soul

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Waiting For The Next High

Every song is a love song
Every moment I hear your name
Your face haunts my dreams
Our energies have connected

Then you disappear

But you keep me wanting

Craving you
Inhaling you
Touching you
Wanting every part of you

You're my addiction

Just when the door on my heart starts swinging closed
Damn, here you are again
Got me feeling so exposed
Making high
Giving me what I need to survive

Keeping me addicted
Keeping me at a distance
Warming me up
Then turning ice cold

Where did you go

 Missing you
Then craving you
Turns into hating you
Then needing you

I'm just over here waiting
Waiting for your love
Waiting
Waiting for your touch
Just waiting




Monday, July 28, 2014

Taking a Chance

Protection
Can you protect yourself while enjoying yourself
While protecting yourself from harm
Are you also blocking
Happiness

By controlling your emotions
Are you preventing the experience of
Joy

When you encase your heart in stone
Are you blocking out
Love

As you blind yourself to humanity's numerous views
Are you preventing the possibility of
Peace

Open your heart
Open your mind
Experience
Just experience Life

Experience the Power of Connection
The connection of hearts
The connection of minds
The connection of earthly self to higher self
Your connection with your Source of Existence
Only then will you feel an overwhelming fulfillment of love, peace, joy and happiness 

Just Let The Light In
Absorb it
Let it consume you
Let it lift you into a higher consciousness



Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The Beautiful Things

Everyday we are faced with negativity, the darkness not only surrounds us, but it resides inside us.

This creates an illusion that speaks to us, causing our minds to lose focus on the beautiful things.

It causes us to forget our purpose.
To bring light into the world.
To display pure unadulterated love, to ourselves and the ones around us.

The things that keep our hearts purified with love are choked out and forgotten, making us feel like a heavy blanket or atmosphere is surrounding our soul, choking out the light that wants to shine within.

You are not alone.
Your light is there waiting for you to consume it and become closer to enlightenment.

Acknowledge and accept that you need help in bringing the light into yourself, while rejecting and pushing the darkness away from you.

Ask your Higher Being to help you, guide you and love you. 
Ask for what you need, and listen to their answers.
They will only do what is best for you.

There is no rejection in their love.

Meditate. It is the only way you can hear the answers your guides are providing for you.
Quiet your mind.
Listen.

Follow your intuition, it is another way your guides are helping you.
Throw away all fear, all hate, all negativity.
Let the light in.
Let love in
Let peace in
Let joy in
Let prosperity in
Let all these beautiful things into your soul.
Watch the blessings come in.


Sunday, July 13, 2014

The Warmth of the Heart

It is pure
The release of expectations
The beauty of it brings thoughts
Beautiful thoughts just to adore
In its truly unadulterated form it only gives
With out the need to receive
It only lives
Through your expression
It will not posses you
But only be true to you
Lifting you higher
Higher into the light
Purifying your soul 
So that you may be true to yourself
Only inspiring you to be radiant
Bringing forth your true self
Your true beauty
Inner and outer loveliness
Your perfection
The elegance of your soul
Can only be displayed by you

Sunday, December 29, 2013

What if's

Text Message from Alexia: "So when are you going to see him?"
Response text from Iliza: " I don't know..."
Alexia: "Do you want to go?"
Iliza: "Yeah, I do..but I don't...I don't want to set myself up for disappointment."
Alexa: "Yeah, but if you don't you'll always wonder what if"
Iliza: "I know, I know"
Iliza: "Omg he just texted me...ahhh...I feel nervous wth"
Alexa: "Lol, your silly what did it say?"
Iliza: "'I want to see you tonight"'...what should I do?"
Alexia: "I don't know, do what feels right...go and settle things, close some doors"
Several hours later...
Alexia: "Sooooo?"
Iliza: "I went, but I think that'll be the last time?"
Alexia :"Did something happen?"
Iliza: "No, no nothing out of the norm, I'm just over it..."
Alexia: "Oh well I guess you had to go through all of that to finally put it to rest...Wow, how do you feel? No more wondering, now you you can move forward without looking behind, you can close that long chapter of your life and start a new one, no more what if's.."
Iliza: "I feel free I feel freedom..no longer hindered by the past...I'm ready for the future, ready to move forward...
Iliza: "I feel like a new beginning."
Alexia: "Well I'm happy for you."



Sunday, December 1, 2013

New Years Resolution

So I know it's only December 1st, but I've thinking a lot about this new year coming up. These past years I feel like I haven't opened up my full potential of who I really am, and this year I want to change that. I want to do things that I've always wanted to do, like travel alone, get into shape, etc. So I've decided this year is my year and I won't let anything stand in my way. Below I listed my New Years Resolution list, maybe you can relate to some of these, maybe you would like to steal some ideas to better yourself; please do!

New Year's Resolution
1. Finish book two and three of the Escape series.
2. Finish my screenplay.
3. Stop letting people run over my feelings.
4. Start pursuing my own dreams instead of helping others with theirs.
5. Abandon the restaurant industry.
6. Support myself through writing, and other creative avenues.
7. Let spirituality back into my life.
8. Work on not being depressed all the time.
9. Get into the best shape of my life.
10. Become vegan.
11. Stop procrastinating.
12. Network
13. Take a vacation alone.
14. Let go of my fears.
15. Spend more time with people I care about, and that uplift me.
16. Meditate
17. Be grateful for the things I have already accomplished.
18. Finish school.
19. Pay student loans.
20. Work on financial freedom.
The last most important thing, Have fun!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Underneath

Falling again
Though I try
I try to fight it
Again it will begin
The heaviness the pain
Sanity
A struggle to grasp
A struggle to keep
Unavoidable
The shame that comes from the pain
Unavoidable
The clouds
They're unavoidable
The grey heaviness presses pushes
Down I go
Down down under the ground
I go
To numb to fight though I know it's right
Beyond I go
Beyond the point of no return

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Words

The words emerge
Out of pain
Out of sadness
The words emerge
Out of anger
Out of disappointment
The words emerge

Speak of inspiration
Don't speak of happiness
Don't speak of bliss
Don't speak of admiration
Speak of inspiration

There was no where to turn
Only words would emerge
The battle for relief
The battle would not let go
No one would know

They would only know
When the words emerged
Why there was no letting go

They could know the pain
The pain they could not feel
They would try
Their stones could not feel

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Ahhh

Ahh
The pressure
Looking down I see it
The darkness
My head
The implosion
The pain

Looking up I see you
Over me
Right hand on right shoulder
Left hand on left shoulder
The pressure
Cracking shoulders
Cracking under pressure
My back gives in
Bending backwards

Keep pushing
It keeps getting darker
Looking up
Reaching up
Left arm right arm
Reaching
Pleading

Slipping away
Grasping only air
All I hear is the clicking
The click click
Slowly moving away

The gentle breeze welcomes my demise
Enveloping me
The darkness welcomes me
Painfully
I fall
Forever

Friday, August 23, 2013

Oh! That Wonderful Fig!

My absolute favorite fruit, the wonderfully delicate fig. The outside of fresh figs are smooth and soft. The inside are a wonderful concoction of sweet and tangy. The texture of the meat is creamy but the seeds give it a delicate crunch to keep the taste buds interested.

Fresh figs are not always available, the California season for them is June through September. Have no fear though because dried figs are available all year around! So you can enjoy this tasty treat whenever you like.

Why are figs so awesome? Well they don't only taste good but they are very good for you!
Figs have a high percentage of fiber in them, making them really good for correcting chronic constipation. This amount of fiber also proves to help in weight management! Who knew!!

Are you allergic to dairy products? Do you have a problem getting all your recommended calcium? Well the fig can help with that also. It has the highest amount of calcium than any other fruit, 16% of your daily recommended dose. Calcium starving body, have no fear the fig is here!

Have you ever wondered is there a sweeter way to get iron in your system? Maybe red meats aren't your thing and your tired of eating salads, with dark green leaves. Well, turn to the fig, not only does it have a good amount of iron but it also has other wonderful minerals like magnesium and potassium. So if your allergic to bananas, try figs for a change. Potassium is very important in helping to lower blood pressure. Figs also contain B vitamins and vitamin K.

One of my favorite benefits of eating a fig is it has a wonderful amount of antioxidants! As a matter of fact, the riper the fig the more antioxidants your going to get! What are antioxidants? Well those little does get rid of the free radicals that cause cancer, heart disease and aging. That's right ladies, figs help keep you younger.

Well now we know all these wonderful things about the fruit, but don't leave of the leaves! They have a lot of nutritional value also. Studies have shown that the leaves have anti diabetic properties. They lowered the  amount of insulin the diabetic needed. Of course you would need to consult your doctor before stopping insulin and going all in with fig leaves. Studies have also shown that fig leaves can help completely correct diabetes.

Figs are so versatile, you can eat them raw cooked or in a smoothie! So look up those recipes and pick up some figs, your health is waiting!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Losing the Thrill

It's happened to every writer I've ever talked to. No matter if your a great writer, or your just starting out I know it's happened to you.

The lost of the muse. Your creativity has seemed to just have gone down the drain and you can't get it back. This happened to me these last few weeks, I know I have a lot to write and I really want to finish the second book in my series; but I just can't find the mojo or the ideas to get it done. 

So I took a step back and looked at my lifestyle. I was eating whatever I wanted and not exercising, at all. I realized my cramped indoor lifestyle, was cramping my creativity, my brain and my mood.

So first I checked out my cabinets and my refrigerator, two very important things in my house. I saw lots of sugar and fat. Fortunately, though, I usually but organic so preservatives weren't anywhere to be found in my kitchen. So cleaning up the kitchen wasn't too much of a project.

First, I started with the sugar. I eliminated ice cream, cookies and cake. Then I eliminated fatty foods like butter, fatty meats and cheese. This alone helped me feel cleaner, my body felt lighter.

The work still isn't done though. Once I mastered my eating habits, I started going to the gym for only about thirty minutes three times a week. Not to bad, I started losing a little weight and my mood was becoming more stable. I still couldn't create ideas for my several different writing projects, so I made one more change.

I set a goal for myself. By next year I want to be in the best shape of my life. This goal has pushed me harder in the gym doing ninety minute sessions with strength training and cardio. I feel great! Even better, I can write again, the ideas are flowing in from everywhere, time to finish that next installment in the Escape series!