Underneath

Falling again
Though I try
I try to fight it
Again it will begin
The heaviness the pain
Sanity
A struggle to grasp
A struggle to keep
Unavoidable
The shame that comes from the pain
Unavoidable
The clouds
They're unavoidable
The grey heaviness presses pushes
Down I go
Down down under the ground
I go
To numb to fight though I know it's right
Beyond I go
Beyond the point of no return

Ahhh

Ahh
The pressure
Looking down I see it
The darkness
My head
The implosion
The pain

Looking up I see you
Over me
Right hand on right shoulder
Left hand on left shoulder
The pressure
Cracking shoulders
Cracking under pressure
My back gives in
Bending backwards

Keep pushing
It keeps getting darker
Looking up
Reaching up
Left arm right arm
Reaching
Pleading

Slipping away
Grasping only air
All I hear is the clicking
The click click
Slowly moving away

The gentle breeze welcomes my demise
Enveloping me
The darkness welcomes me
Painfully
I fall
Forever

Losing the Thrill

It's happened to every writer I've ever talked to. No matter if your a great writer, or your just starting out I know it's happened to you.

The lost of the muse. Your creativity has seemed to just have gone down the drain and you can't get it back. This happened to me these last few weeks, I know I have a lot to write and I really want to finish the second book in my series; but I just can't find the mojo or the ideas to get it done. 

So I took a step back and looked at my lifestyle. I was eating whatever I wanted and not exercising, at all. I realized my cramped indoor lifestyle, was cramping my creativity, my brain and my mood.

So first I checked out my cabinets and my refrigerator, two very important things in my house. I saw lots of sugar and fat. Fortunately, though, I usually but organic so preservatives weren't anywhere to be found in my kitchen. So cleaning up the kitchen wasn't too much of a project.

First, I started with the sugar. I eliminated ice cream, cookies and cake. Then I eliminated fatty foods like butter, fatty meats and cheese. This alone helped me feel cleaner, my body felt lighter.

The work still isn't done though. Once I mastered my eating habits, I started going to the gym for only about thirty minutes three times a week. Not to bad, I started losing a little weight and my mood was becoming more stable. I still couldn't create ideas for my several different writing projects, so I made one more change.

I set a goal for myself. By next year I want to be in the best shape of my life. This goal has pushed me harder in the gym doing ninety minute sessions with strength training and cardio. I feel great! Even better, I can write again, the ideas are flowing in from everywhere, time to finish that next installment in the Escape series!

Oppression

Feeling a heaviness on my shoulders that's not lifting
The hatred of society is drowning
I can't breathe
This world that's so suffocating
I put up the fight
The fight for my life

They let me have it  my life
But then strip me
Trying to take my dignity
They say you can't do anything so I won't do a thing
Just watch as  the country goes down
The flames consumes them

They keep trying to take it from me my dignity
Until I run out of energy
I try to climb the latter and the just kick me down the stairs
Then come to me and say make sure you say your prayers

They say
Let this depression be a lesson
We will not stop oppression
When you stand to fight
We will take your right