Underneath

Falling again
Though I try
I try to fight it
Again it will begin
The heaviness the pain
Sanity
A struggle to grasp
A struggle to keep
Unavoidable
The shame that comes from the pain
Unavoidable
The clouds
They're unavoidable
The grey heaviness presses pushes
Down I go
Down down under the ground
I go
To numb to fight though I know it's right
Beyond I go
Beyond the point of no return

The Words

The words emerge
Out of pain
Out of sadness
The words emerge
Out of anger
Out of disappointment
The words emerge

Speak of inspiration
Don't speak of happiness
Don't speak of bliss
Don't speak of admiration
Speak of inspiration

There was no where to turn
Only words would emerge
The battle for relief
The battle would not let go
No one would know

They would only know
When the words emerged
Why there was no letting go

They could know the pain
The pain they could not feel
They would try
Their stones could not feel

Ahhh

Ahh
The pressure
Looking down I see it
The darkness
My head
The implosion
The pain

Looking up I see you
Over me
Right hand on right shoulder
Left hand on left shoulder
The pressure
Cracking shoulders
Cracking under pressure
My back gives in
Bending backwards

Keep pushing
It keeps getting darker
Looking up
Reaching up
Left arm right arm
Reaching
Pleading

Slipping away
Grasping only air
All I hear is the clicking
The click click
Slowly moving away

The gentle breeze welcomes my demise
Enveloping me
The darkness welcomes me
Painfully
I fall
Forever

Oh! That Wonderful Fig!

My absolute favorite fruit, the wonderfully delicate fig. The outside of fresh figs are smooth and soft. The inside are a wonderful concoction of sweet and tangy. The texture of the meat is creamy but the seeds give it a delicate crunch to keep the taste buds interested.

Fresh figs are not always available, the California season for them is June through September. Have no fear though because dried figs are available all year around! So you can enjoy this tasty treat whenever you like.

Why are figs so awesome? Well they don't only taste good but they are very good for you!
Figs have a high percentage of fiber in them, making them really good for correcting chronic constipation. This amount of fiber also proves to help in weight management! Who knew!!

Are you allergic to dairy products? Do you have a problem getting all your recommended calcium? Well the fig can help with that also. It has the highest amount of calcium than any other fruit, 16% of your daily recommended dose. Calcium starving body, have no fear the fig is here!

Have you ever wondered is there a sweeter way to get iron in your system? Maybe red meats aren't your thing and your tired of eating salads, with dark green leaves. Well, turn to the fig, not only does it have a good amount of iron but it also has other wonderful minerals like magnesium and potassium. So if your allergic to bananas, try figs for a change. Potassium is very important in helping to lower blood pressure. Figs also contain B vitamins and vitamin K.

One of my favorite benefits of eating a fig is it has a wonderful amount of antioxidants! As a matter of fact, the riper the fig the more antioxidants your going to get! What are antioxidants? Well those little does get rid of the free radicals that cause cancer, heart disease and aging. That's right ladies, figs help keep you younger.

Well now we know all these wonderful things about the fruit, but don't leave of the leaves! They have a lot of nutritional value also. Studies have shown that the leaves have anti diabetic properties. They lowered the  amount of insulin the diabetic needed. Of course you would need to consult your doctor before stopping insulin and going all in with fig leaves. Studies have also shown that fig leaves can help completely correct diabetes.

Figs are so versatile, you can eat them raw cooked or in a smoothie! So look up those recipes and pick up some figs, your health is waiting!

Losing the Thrill

It's happened to every writer I've ever talked to. No matter if your a great writer, or your just starting out I know it's happened to you.

The lost of the muse. Your creativity has seemed to just have gone down the drain and you can't get it back. This happened to me these last few weeks, I know I have a lot to write and I really want to finish the second book in my series; but I just can't find the mojo or the ideas to get it done. 

So I took a step back and looked at my lifestyle. I was eating whatever I wanted and not exercising, at all. I realized my cramped indoor lifestyle, was cramping my creativity, my brain and my mood.

So first I checked out my cabinets and my refrigerator, two very important things in my house. I saw lots of sugar and fat. Fortunately, though, I usually but organic so preservatives weren't anywhere to be found in my kitchen. So cleaning up the kitchen wasn't too much of a project.

First, I started with the sugar. I eliminated ice cream, cookies and cake. Then I eliminated fatty foods like butter, fatty meats and cheese. This alone helped me feel cleaner, my body felt lighter.

The work still isn't done though. Once I mastered my eating habits, I started going to the gym for only about thirty minutes three times a week. Not to bad, I started losing a little weight and my mood was becoming more stable. I still couldn't create ideas for my several different writing projects, so I made one more change.

I set a goal for myself. By next year I want to be in the best shape of my life. This goal has pushed me harder in the gym doing ninety minute sessions with strength training and cardio. I feel great! Even better, I can write again, the ideas are flowing in from everywhere, time to finish that next installment in the Escape series!

Oppression

Feeling a heaviness on my shoulders that's not lifting
The hatred of society is drowning
I can't breathe
This world that's so suffocating
I put up the fight
The fight for my life

They let me have it  my life
But then strip me
Trying to take my dignity
They say you can't do anything so I won't do a thing
Just watch as  the country goes down
The flames consumes them

They keep trying to take it from me my dignity
Until I run out of energy
I try to climb the latter and the just kick me down the stairs
Then come to me and say make sure you say your prayers

They say
Let this depression be a lesson
We will not stop oppression
When you stand to fight
We will take your right

Race and America

After the verdict of George Zimmerman was handed down yesterday, of not guilty the country was saddened, but not surprised. According to the jury, Trayvon Martin because he was an African American male, not man, but child has no rights in this country. Their 'not guilty' verdict says that a child's life is disposable, as long as he is different. Whether that be that he is black, Hispanic, or LGBT. No matter how innocent, no matter where you live, if you're African American you can be shot down dead and never have your aggressor prosecuted.

Every African American person in this country right now feels like it is open season on our young people. On our family members, on our fathers, our mothers, or brothers and our sisters. Even if you are an law abiding citizen, if you are African American or anything but straight and white, you can still get murdered for no reason, and not get any justice.

The right wing began their fear mongering campaign, saying watch out, there's going to be looting and riots and black people are just going to go crazy. Because clearly in the light of tragedy, minorites can't control ourselves. Because clearly to them, we are animals, and can only behave as such and that's why we need to be treated as such. So that it's always the black person that is guilty, guilty of being black. Guilty of going to the store after dark for skittles and walking home, black.

Even the prosecution gave up on defending Trayvon. They were afraid to even mention that race was the entire reason why George Zimmerman followed Trayvon. The entire reason why he got out of his car and started a confrontation with the child. They decided to believe George Zimmerman and give up on prosecuting him.

So now what? We can't depend on the police to make arrests when their supposed to. We can't count on prosecutors to defend the rights of our black victims, so now what? Wait for 'God' to step in? Isn't this just another illusion? Putting faith in some that 'they' gave us, so that we will wait forever for something that will never happen. So that we will not rise up and fight against what we know is an continuing injustice. What now? Keep waiting? I'm sure that's what they would want, so that they can continue living in their 'safe', 'controlled' atmosphere. While they get in their cars and stalk, harass, and murder anyone they feel could be a threat. Anyone that doesn't look like them.

What do we tell our children? Even more importantly, how do we protect our children from these monsters?

We must go to our legislators, protest, peacefully to get these laws changed. All people must be involved, because if you are different in this country you can be victimized, and there is no one that will try to make it better, but us, the people.